{"id":1180,"date":"2019-05-10T16:31:30","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T21:31:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/?p=1180"},"modified":"2019-05-30T10:26:17","modified_gmt":"2019-05-30T15:26:17","slug":"la-lavette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/la-lavette\/","title":{"rendered":"La lavette"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1180\" class=\"elementor elementor-1180\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-46ad9f3b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"46ad9f3b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1cb77a96\" data-id=\"1cb77a96\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2474bc32 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-featured-image elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"2474bc32\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-featured-image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/TPE-20ans_52-lavette.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-1181\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/TPE-20ans_52-lavette.png 600w, https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/TPE-20ans_52-lavette-150x300.png 150w, https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/TPE-20ans_52-lavette-512x1024.png 512w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 709px) 85vw, (max-width: 909px) 67vw, (max-width: 984px) 61vw, (max-width: 1362px) 45vw, 600px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-576f0fbc\" data-id=\"576f0fbc\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-483aa53a elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"483aa53a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">La lavette<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-48c16857 elementor-reverse-mobile elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"48c16857\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-354cc8e5\" data-id=\"354cc8e5\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-background-overlay\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-55001257 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"55001257\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/youtu.be\\\/3LufBXKGDvI&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6be98717 gallery-spacing-custom elementor-widget elementor-widget-image-gallery\" data-id=\"6be98717\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image-gallery.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-image-gallery\">\n\t\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1180 gallery-columns-2 gallery-size-full'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a data-elementor-open-lightbox=\"yes\" data-elementor-lightbox-slideshow=\"6be98717\" data-elementor-lightbox-title=\"ubu1_K\" data-e-action-hash=\"#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dlightbox%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6MTI3MSwidXJsIjoiaHR0cHM6XC9cL3BpcmUtZXNwZWNlLmNvbVwvYmVzdGlhaXJlXC93cC1jb250ZW50XC91cGxvYWRzXC8yMDE5XC8wNVwvdWJ1MV9LLnBuZyIsInNsaWRlc2hvdyI6IjZiZTk4NzE3In0%3D\" href='https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/ubu1_K.png'><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"391\" src=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/ubu1_K.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1271\" srcset=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/ubu1_K.png 600w, https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/ubu1_K-300x196.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 709px) 85vw, (max-width: 909px) 67vw, (max-width: 984px) 61vw, (max-width: 1362px) 45vw, 600px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<figcaption class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1271'>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a9 Mathieu Djeyo\n\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a data-elementor-open-lightbox=\"yes\" data-elementor-lightbox-slideshow=\"6be98717\" data-elementor-lightbox-title=\"Ubu_Sur_la_Table_19_credits_djeyo\" data-e-action-hash=\"#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dlightbox%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6MTI3MCwidXJsIjoiaHR0cHM6XC9cL3BpcmUtZXNwZWNlLmNvbVwvYmVzdGlhaXJlXC93cC1jb250ZW50XC91cGxvYWRzXC8yMDE5XC8wNVwvVWJ1X1N1cl9sYV9UYWJsZV8xOV9jcmVkaXRzX2RqZXlvLnBuZyIsInNsaWRlc2hvdyI6IjZiZTk4NzE3In0%3D\" href='https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Ubu_Sur_la_Table_19_credits_djeyo.png'><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Ubu_Sur_la_Table_19_credits_djeyo.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1270\" srcset=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Ubu_Sur_la_Table_19_credits_djeyo.png 600w, https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Ubu_Sur_la_Table_19_credits_djeyo-300x200.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 709px) 85vw, (max-width: 909px) 67vw, (max-width: 984px) 61vw, (max-width: 1362px) 45vw, 600px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<figcaption class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1270'>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a9 Mathieu Djeyo\n\t\t\t\t<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6f45909e\" data-id=\"6f45909e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-539313b6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"539313b6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Histoire vraie<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5f88e995 elementor-drop-cap-yes elementor-drop-cap-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5f88e995\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;drop_cap&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><em>Un professeur sentencieux et un metteur en sc\u00e8ne connu entrent dans la salle de th\u00e9\u00e2tre,<br \/><\/em><em>s\u2019installent. Enfin ils vont pouvoir assister \u00e0 cette fameuse prestation\u00a0: <br \/><\/em><em>Ubu sur la\u2026<br \/><\/em><em>Pas de d\u00e9cor!<br \/><\/em><em>Des ramassis, des d\u00e9bris jonchent les tables!<br \/><\/em><em>Horreur! Mis\u00e8re! Ils vont jouer avec ces affaires!<br \/><\/em><em>Sont-ce des simples d\u2019esprit?<br \/><\/em><em>Fuir? Oui, il en est encore temps\u2026 non, trop tard\u00a0: <br \/><\/em><em>Les deux saltimbanques s\u2019activent et ils s\u2019adressent directement \u00e0 l\u2019auditoire, ces mufles!<\/em><\/p><p>S\u2019\u00e9lance en sc\u00e8ne, M\u00e8re Ubu!<\/p><p><em>Une lavette d\u00e9garnie comme protagoniste du r\u00e9cit ?<br \/><\/em><em>Que l\u2019on qualifie ailleurs, d\u2019ailleurs, de brosse \u00e0 chiotte!<\/em><\/p><p>Une lavette coquette qui cherche \u00e0 fuir sa roture,<br \/>l\u2019odeur de friture qui lui colle \u00e0 la chevelure<br \/>Elle crie, couine,<br \/>gigue, danse, glisse<br \/>Et se d\u00e9glingue la gueule<em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p><p><em>Ma foi, cette \u00e9chevel\u00e9e ne cherche que le gag!<br \/><\/em><em>Ce ne sont que des fac\u00e9ties.<\/em><\/p><p>DING!<br \/>Un combat s\u2019engage,<br \/>Elle s\u2019attaque \u00e0 l\u2019acteur.<br \/>C\u2019est dingue!<br \/>POUF!<br \/>TOUF!<br \/>CROUP!<br \/>Elle a le diable au corps.<br \/>Elle mord la main qui la tient,<br \/>Coup de savate, coup de Jarnac,<br \/>L\u2019acteur est au carreau.<br \/>Elle s\u2019envole, s\u2019enfuit<br \/>Fi\u00e8re, pardi! d\u2019avoir su, \u00e0 grands coups de pitrerie,<br \/>Se d\u00e9faire de ce qui la clouait au sol, l\u2019attachait \u00e0 la terre.<\/p><p>Ce n\u2019est plus une lavette,<br \/>c&rsquo;est une guerri\u00e8re!<br \/>\u00c0 force de courage et de ruse<br \/>Elle a su s\u2019\u00e9lever<br \/>au-dessus de sa condition de roturi\u00e8re.<\/p><p><em>Mouin.<\/em><\/p><p>Et maintenant, elle vole, n\u2019en d\u00e9plaise au deux spectateurs qui grimacent<br \/>De voir ainsi que l\u2019on s\u2019attaque aux conventions du r\u00e9alisme.<br \/>Eh bien non, personne ne lui fera cesser \u00ab\u00a0ses fac\u00e9ties\u2026\u00a0\u00bb<br \/>Elle s\u2019efface ici.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-334275c4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"334275c4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><a href=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/auteur-trice-s\/\">Propos recueillis \u00e0 l\u2019insu des spectateurs par une serveuse du feu caf\u00e9 L\u2019Apart\u00e9\n<\/a><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-435c18e2 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"435c18e2\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2f7273c7\" data-id=\"2f7273c7\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6dada980 elementor-widget elementor-widget-global elementor-global-352 elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"6dada980\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<figure class=\"wp-caption\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"201\" src=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/icone-mosaique.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-234\" alt=\"\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<figcaption class=\"widget-image-caption wp-caption-text\">Retour \u00e0 la mosa\u00efque<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a9 Mathieu Djeyo \u00a9 Mathieu Djeyo Histoire vraie Un professeur sentencieux et un metteur en sc\u00e8ne connu entrent dans la salle de th\u00e9\u00e2tre,s\u2019installent. Enfin ils vont pouvoir assister \u00e0 cette fameuse prestation\u00a0: Ubu sur la\u2026Pas de d\u00e9cor!Des ramassis, des d\u00e9bris jonchent les tables!Horreur! Mis\u00e8re! Ils vont jouer avec ces affaires!Sont-ce des simples d\u2019esprit?Fuir? Oui, il &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/la-lavette\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continuer la lecture<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> de &laquo;&nbsp;La lavette&nbsp;&raquo;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-1180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-la-serveuse","tag-objet"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>La lavette - Le Bestiaire d&#039;objets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/pire-espece.com\/bestiaire\/la-lavette\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"La lavette - Le Bestiaire d&#039;objets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a9 Mathieu Djeyo \u00a9 Mathieu Djeyo Histoire vraie Un professeur sentencieux et un metteur en sc\u00e8ne connu entrent dans la salle de th\u00e9\u00e2tre,s\u2019installent. 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